


something undefinable

by vinndetta



Series: Aromantic Dan [3]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Aromantic Character, Aromantic Dan, Aromantic Dan Avidan, First Kiss, Gen, IS IT RYLAND TATE OR RYLAND SMITH, M/M, MAKE UP YOUR MIND PLE A S E, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Queerplatonic relationship, SO, anyway, anyway !! i figured it out, first of all, hell yeah, i mean it's implied when dan says 'yeah me but you're into romantic things' or something like that, its just ryland (good game), qpr, uhhhhhhhhhhh - Freeform, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 13:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16724040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinndetta/pseuds/vinndetta
Summary: "But is there a label for a person who just really, really wants to kiss their best friend, in a non-romantic way?"





	something undefinable

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know,,,,,,, it took me so long to write this for some reason

"Dan."

The word rung out in the room, making it seem more dramatic when the curly-haired man swiveled around in his chair to catch Arin's eyes. At first, those eyes were glowing with delight, ready to hear another joke, until his glowing smile turned upside down as he gazed upon Arin's exhausted and gloomy face.

"Arin, honey, what's going on?" Dan immediately went to get up and approach Arin, but Arin shook his head. Arin walked towards him instead, sitting down in the chair next to Dan in the office, not directly looking Dan in the eyes now. He felt those probing eyes stare into him, but Dan stayed silent. It was moments like these that made Arin appreciate Dan's shows of gentleness and concern in serious moments. Dan knew better than try to blindly speak up and try to comfort Arin when all Arin ever needs is something to just sit and listen to him.

Arin takes in a deep breath.

Looking up, he can see Dan's creased eyebrow, those eyes searching Arin's face for any sign of distress or injuries.

"Dan, would you... how... what's our relationship even?" The words stumbled out of Arin's mouth, nervous eyes waiting to see a reaction out of his friend.

There was a small awkward pause, as the question seemed to echo through both of their brains. Dan blinked, seemingly processing the question, turning it over in his head as if continuing to do that would yield more answers. "You're - we're, uhm. Best friends..?" Dan finally spoke weakly, words reeking with uncertainty.

"Well, yeah, that's been established. Best friends, obviously." Arin spilled out quickly, getting up.

Dan followed suit, stepping a bit closer to Arin. "And...?" Dan whispered, voicing the word that he somehow knew had been on the tip of Arin's tongue, unspoken.

Arin threw up his arms. "Fuck, if I know!" He walked a few steps and collapsed onto the office couch, the closest available space where he could lay down without doing so on the floor. His face was pressed into the cushion as his legs dangled over the arm rest, his body too long to fit completely on the couch comfortably. 

Arin felt the couch sink lower as he felt Dan's presence above his head. He shifted so that he was now facing up, looking up at Dan's face filled with patience and understanding.

"We've never been... romantic, right?" 

Dan blinked.

"Like, it's only been platonic. And... it's only ever going to be platonic. We've never wanted anything else." Arin rambled on before Dan had even had a chance to answer the first question. 

Dan's face was unreadable, as if he was still processing what had just been thrown at him out of nowhere. Arin knows that this had probably been thrown at him unexpectedly, so he waits for Dan's brain to fully form an answer.

But damn it, if Dan's silence doesn't worry him, even just a little bit.

"It's never been romantic." Dan finally says after a couple moments. "Just friends. No homo." Dan winked down at his friend, who sat up to smack his arm playfully.

"But I really needed you inside my asshole right now!" Arin pouts in an exaggerated manner and then grins, for probably the first time since the two had started conversing in the office. 

"I don't think your wife would be okay with that, baby." The pet name slips out, and Arin winces. He knows that Dan probably saw that, and it's not like this isn't normal for their Grump sessions, but there's something about that word that is so right, yet so wrong.

There's an awkward silence between them as Arin leans his head on Dan's shoulder, feeling those wonderful feelings crashing like waves into him. He loves to burrow himself into the skinnier man, because even though he's a bony stick, he loves to feel enveloped in those arms and in that scent. There's only a few things that make him feel at home, and Dan's one of them, alongside his family home and Suzy. There's something special about Dan, and even the lovelies have seen something more there between the two men. It wasn't romance like everyone thinks, but there's definitely something deeper there that Arin can't seem to define.

"Arin."

Arin's eyes shot open, staring off into the distance as he heard and felt Dan say his name. He felt Dan take in a deep breath and let it out slowly, that small movement reminding him even more of the ocean, the waves crashing over him. For a man who would never go near the sea for the fear of the unknown (and sharks), Arin felt that Dan reminded him so much of the calm waves at the very edge of the ocean.

"You're thinking too hard, love." Dan whispers, those words vibrating through Arin. Before Arin can think of anything to say, Dan continues on. "We're friends. Is there something else you want to establish after that? I'm not very clear on this situation."

Arin fiddles with his thumbs. "But don't you ever feel... I don't know... something... more?"

Something clicks in Dan's mind. "Something more?" He says, breath hitched with a touch of intrigue.

There's a bit of a silence as the implication of those words start to sink in. Was there anything more? Arin doesn't know how to answer that question and he would bet his life savings that Dan doesn't know either. It couldn't be romance; Dan wasn't interested in him and Arin had a lovely wife. What more could he want from life? What more could he desire from Dan? 

An arm reaches past Arin, who finds himself in a hug with his best friend almost instantly later. He blinks rapidly, trying to comprehend the situation at hand.

"D-Dan?"

"Arin..."

He's sure Dan can feel how tense he is, but he holds his breath, waiting to hear what Dan has to say. His heart thumps in his chest, but Arin's not sure if it's excited or scared at this point.

"A better question is, do you want something more?"

The words leave Arin blinking in confusion. He doesn't know how to answer that one either, doesn't know how to feel, doesn't know. But there's something more, something he never could say, could never admit to wanting-

Dan lets go of Arin, both friends staring at each other in earnest. He leans forward, and Arin can feel Dan's body warmth return, wants to bathe in it. They both stay there, waiting in anticipation for something, for anything to happen, for neither of them know what to expect, what to want, what to do.

Dan finally speaks up, voice a bit shaky, whispering, "Can I... Can I try something?"

A small affirmative shake of Arin's head prompts Dan to lean forward to place those lips upon his best friend's lips.

The first thing that Arin thinks is that he doesn't know what Dan actually tastes like. This is the part of all those stories that Arin reads where the character goes into depth into what the other person tastes like, but it's only a small peck on the lips, nothing special, but Arin feels like his insides are on fire. He feels as if his soul was lit up, an imaginary switch pulled. Neither of them move away, and Arin closes his eyes and tries to recognize the way that Dan's lips feel upon his. This feels so right, like it was meant to be. Dan's lips are soft and he feels as if he's floating. He can't feel anything else except his racing heart and the wondrous way those lips feel.

Dan pulls back a bit, just a few inches from his face, and Arin lets out a sharp breath. They're merely inches away from each other, blinking at each other and breathing almost in unison. Dan's staring into his eyes, and while Arin wants to back away from those prying eyes, he stays there, looking at Dan, wondering where to go from here. They're both waiting there in anticipation, waiting for something to happen, but not knowing what that something is.

"Was that okay?" Dan finally says under his breath. 

Arin nods, slouches a bit and looks at the space between the two awkwardly. He's never kissed a man before, he realizes. It was so different from kissing his wife, who doesn't have facial hair at all and who he's totally familiar with kissing. Dan, on the other hand, was his best friend, his favorite person right behind Suzy. 

Jesus christ, he just kissed his best friend.

"Arin, I..." Arin glances back up at Dan, who now seems to be looking away from Arin. "That... wasn't romantic, right?"

Arin blinks. Well, it wasn't exactly romantic. Kissing Suzy gave him butterflies in his stomach, but so did Dan, in a way? But he knows he doesn't want to take Dan to bed, no matter how many times he jokes about it to the internet. He doesn't think he wants to date Dan, necessarily. Dan didn't give him the feeling that Suzy gave him. 

But... he knows he felt something else there, something he can't name.

Dan's head suddenly leans on Arin's chest. He looks down at his friend, wrapping his arms around him. 

"No, it wasn't, Dan... but..." Arin slowly trails off, not knowing if the words on the tip of his tongue were the right thing to say.

"But...?"

"But I..." Arin furrows his eyebrows, nervously biting his lip. "I really want to do that again."

Dan shifts his head to look up at Arin with lidded eyes, who feels like his heart has gone soft at the sight of seeing his best friend look so vulnerable and adorable. His heart feels so full of love for this man; he's always thought of it as platonic, but now he's just kissed this man, even though Arin's pretty sure he's a straight married man, and it made him feel things that were so familiar and so different. It was something undefinable, a feeling that couldn't fit into a box and would never belong in one.

"Really?" Dan gasps.

Arin smiles softly. "Yeah."

Dan furrows his eyebrows in thought. "But what about Suzy?"

"I mean," Arin snorts. "I could ask her for permission to kiss you, but I think we should figure out what..." Arin gestures vaguely in the air. "... all this is."

Dan moves around a bit to get his head on Arin's shoulder.

"We're best friends, right?"

Arin hums in agreement.

"But... something more?"

Arin doesn't know how to answer that, still. He loves Dan, he knows that. He loves him so much, so so much, but he doesn't know. He doesn't want to Dan to be his boyfriend, but why would he want to kiss his best friend then?

"I... I don't know."

They sit there in silence for a while.

"It... doesn't need a label, right?"

Arin huffs. "Well. I mean, labels are... complicated."

"How so?"

"They're very helpful when you want to be able to understand the way you feel, and that there are people like you out there."

"Yeah, that makes sense." Dan ends with those simple words, then doesn't say anything beyond that. Arin knows that Dan's very open to new things, but can sometimes be overwhelmed when he's hit with something that's new and also a very big deal. It's pretty understandable considering that they were both hit with the fact that they actually enjoyed kissing each other, possibly making their sexualities a bit more complicated. Dan sighs. "But is there a label for a person who just really, really wants to kiss their best friend, in a non-romantic way?"

Arin chuckles a bit. "Probably." He takes out his phone from his pocket, and opens the browser.

First, he checks "what does it mean when you want to kiss your best friend," but that doesn't really work out. The results aren't very helpful, just helping people with their crush on their friend. But it's not a crush, or at least a romantic one, Arin reasons to himself, and goes back to the search bar.

This time, he checks "platonic friends kissing," and gets results that are actually helpful. 

He clicks on a forum, seeing that the initial post was someone in their exact position.

"Queerplatonic relationship." Arin says, which causes Dan to raise his head in order to drowsily let out a confused noise.

"Uh... it's basically a relationship for people who aren't interested in romance."

Dan blinks. "So... is that us?"

"I mean, we're not interested in each other romantically."

Dan tilts his head, and Arin does the same thing in response. They both let out a few giggles.

"But, Arin, I, uh..." Dan presses his lips together in thought. "You're... married."

Arin blinks, not knowing that point Dan is trying to make. 

"So, me, yeah, makes sense... but... _you're_ into romantic things, right?"

"Yeah, but not with _you_. I'm not exactly into a romantic relationship with _you_."

"Oh." Dan says weakly, as if he doesn't know what to say after that. "So, queerplatonic relationship. That. Arin, uh..." 

Arin reaches out to grab Dan's hand, squeezing it tightly. Dan hesitates for a split second, and then squeezes it back. Arin's eyes brighten, and he starts to smile at Dan widely.

"Nothing has to change, Dan. It's just a label. We just found the word that describes us. It's what we're already doing."

"But with kisses?" Dan's voice sounds hopeful and Arin can't help but laugh a little bit at how earnest and excited his friend sounds.

"All the kisses, buddy, forever." 

Dan smiles and closes his eyes happily, leaning back on the couch.

"Well, we still have to ask Suzy." Dan says as an afterthought.

"Of course. I'm sure she'll say yes." Arin falls back on Dan, who immediately wraps his arms around him.

"What makes you so sure?"

"She's brought up the fact that we're pretty close a couple of times. Besides, she's mentioned that she thinks I'm interested in you romantically."

"She's cool with it?" Dan sounds incredulous.

"Man, have you met Suzy? As long as we talk things out, I'm sure she's okay with almost anything. And this? This will delight her incredibly."

"Whatever you say, man." Dan stops for a second. "So, queerplatonic relationship, huh?"

"Well," Arin thinks for a second. "We don't need a label, like you said. We could be... best friends but a little bit more than that."

"That's a bit wordy. How about... life partners?"

Arin hums. "I like it. Straight to the point."

"Platonic life partners, then?"

"Like Alex and Ryland from Good Game?" Dan laughs a bit, making Arin feel butterflies as he feels the vibrations from Dan's body from where he's laying on him.

He snorts. "Yeah, exactly. Platonic life partners."

"So, more kisses from now on?"

Arin scoots up, placing a kiss on Dan's cheek. Dan laughs a bit, causing Arin to giggle as he lays his head upon Dan's chest.

"Yeah, you dummy."

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thanks for reading! please kudos/comment if you liked, thanks!!! 
> 
> i'm @vinndetta on tumblr and my ko-fi is also @vinndetta if you'd like to support me and my works! thanks so much! <3


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